I don’t know how to put this thought into words so I will leave with the only one that comes to mind: disappointed.
Nervous breakdown, or can it just be that time? I need to relax before I begin to develop anxiety problems; which I wouldn’t put past my weird emotion-based body.
Fuck it. I’m interested in everything but it comes back and around to one thing. My weekend has really showed me a new perspective on things. I feel as if I’m getting nothing accomplished. I want to do something, but am not pursuing it, and you know what? Times a wasting. I need to leave. I need to have more new, eye-opening experiences. I believe there is not one way of doing and accomplishing something and I want to find how I can do this best. Maybe this isn’t the way. I believe I am one to learn through experience and not through observation. I don’t want to blame this on anyone but myself, but in a sense, I can. And it really aggravates me! If the experience is bad, then fine, I’ll fix it. But I want to take risks with my life and not live it so safely like I feel that I have been doing. I want to be happy and not just content. Feeling lost.